Mind Of Mencia: Pokemon Style!
by Shiny Lucario
Summary: This is a Mind Of Mencia inspired Fan Fic, but with it being about Pokemon things, bashings on some things, but not because I hate them, jokes, and other random things.
1. Chapter 1: Series Premiere

**Mind Of Mencia: Pokemon Style!**

Episode 1: Series Premiere.

* * *

SL: Hello everyone!! Yeah!! I feel so great! But I still have to let the dumb asses in here! But it will make it better. So lets start the show with a little something. I went to a fair so I brought my video camera and I recorded what went on. Watch this and laugh your ass off.

* * *

(The video starts)

SL: I am at a fair that opened near where I live and I decided to have a load of fun, and mess with people.

(SL enters the fair)

SL: Oh, look its the Dumbest person to ever try to make his dream of becoming a Pokemon Master.

Ash: Hello my people!

SL: You have none.

Ash: Misty is one of my people.

SL: In your dreams, dee dee dee.

Ash: It is a dream that will come true!

SL: Good luck with that.

(5 minutes later)

SL: Now I got my tickets. Now it is time to ride a roller coaster or something!

(Runs to a ride which swings upward and downward, and sometimes makes a complete spin)

SL: Yeah! I am gonna scream when I am on the ride!

Person #1: Give me a ticket for the ride.

(SL gives the person a ticket)

Person #1: Go right ahead.

(SL walks and then turns around and looks at Person #1)

SL: ... Ass.

(SL continues walking to take a seat on the ride)

SL: This is gonna be awesome!

??: Yeah it is!

SL: (thinks) That voice sounds familiar.

(Latches on the seats or locked and the ride begins)

(SL turns his head)

May: Hi Shiny Lucario!

SL: (screams) **SON OF A BITCH!!**

(5 minutes later the ride ends)

May: That was fun!

SL: There was no fun.

May: Why?

SL: Because you sat next to me, you grabbed my hand and squeezed the -- out of it! And I heard it crack, too. Well, off to another ride.

(SL walks away from May)

SL: (talks to the camera) That is why you don't do drugs, people.

(SL continues walking and sees his favorite ride ever)

SL: The classic... BUMPER CARS!!

(SL pushes everyone and cuts to be second in line)

??: Hello, hun.

SL: Nightmares won't ever end.

Harley: Isn't it great to see each other again since you killed me in Season 1 in Pokemon: Wheel Of Fortune.

SL: Axletia killed you, not me.

Harley: Who cares.

Person #2: Go ahead in.

SL: (thinks) Must use this for my advantage.

(SL walks on the arena of the Bumper Cars)

Harley: A blue one! And it is the only one!

SL: Mine, cross-dresser! (Pushes Harley down and sits in the car) Ha ha ha! I got this car!

Harley: Hmph! Rude!

SL: Tell that to someone who cares!

(3 minutes later the ride begins)

SL: Time to crash into innocent people! (Rams into a random person)

??: Watch where you are going! You could've ruined my good green hair!

SL: You are suppose to crash into people, you -- head! ...Wait a minute...

Drew: Can't you be a little less soft on the impacts!

SL: Vomit head!

Drew: -- you!

SL: (pulls out a gun) Do you really want to -- with me?

Drew: Ah! No! (drives away)

SL: Chicken. Time to crash into Harley and then he flies away! (Drives towards Harley) Time to diiiiiieee!!

Harley: (turns and sees SL coming towards him) Aaaaahh!!

(SL crashes into Harley, causing Harley to fly out of his bumper car)

SL: I hope I never see you again!

(5 minutes later at the parking lot next to a car)

SL: My "fun" is over for now. And I didn't expect to see Ash, May, Drew, or Harley. Hopefully I won't see any of them anytime soon. But I know that I will.

(Video ends)

* * *

(Audience applause)

(SL is sitting in a chair and a red carpet is rolled out across the stage and some decorations)

SL: The only fun I had was crashing into Harley and nearly killing him when he fly like a mile out of his car and his head crashed into a wall with needles sticking out. Its like causing a fatality in Mortal Kombat, but the stage was a Bumper Car arena. I guess the spinning ride or whatever it is was fun too, but May crushed my hand and it bruised hours later. See. (Holds up right hand) That palm is purple, that is why you don't tkae steriods or do drugs, people. Now onto something else. you are wondering what the decorations and the red carpet is for. What if the things in Pokemon changed. The characters, the storyline, the regions, the Pokemons, the items, ect. First, I want to start of with the crap that would never happen. Harley, get out here!

(Harley walks slowly with some bandages on the head)

SL: Ok, I know some people that bash Harley. One, because he looks like a cross-dresser. Two, he acts gay. But with if that changed, and if it did, all of you would be thinking, "Well that's bull--." Yeah, because it would never happen. But Harley did change, there would be less conflicts with Harley and May, and maybe Harley and Drew, or with all of them together. But, since we are in reality, and Harley is a freak, we will just have to deal with what we got. Now I am wondering... Who the -- are Harley's parents!?

Harley: I don't know either.

SL: Duh! Now get out of here and let me move on.

(Harley walks away)

SL: Ok, if the storyline of Pokemon completely, it would be a 10 year-old male or female starting their journey around the four regions of Pokemon, to become to dumbest of them all, like Ash, for example. He isn't smart, and since his journey started in the Kanto Region, he has gotten more stupid, and has no idea that the girls they travel them like Ash.

(Ash appears on that stage)

Ash: The girls don't like me, geez!

SL: Oh yes they do, why the hell there are a bunch of shippings about you and other characters!

Ash: Like package shipping.

SL: At first, I thought that too, but I learned, but you just get more -- stupid.

Ash: To clear things out, the girls don't like me.

SL: Ok, they love you.

Ash: No they don't.

SL: Ok, they want to -- you!

(Audience applause and laughs)

Ash: (sigh) Forget it.

SL: Ok, now get off my stage!

(Ash walks away)

SL: If a Pokemon's name were to change, this is what I think.

(A Muk comes on the stage)

SL: Yeah, some of you are thinking that I will give it a bad name, and you were right. This big blob of crap is stinky and smells like someone took a big -- in the bathroom and didn't use the air freshener and flush the toilet.

Muk: Muk! (Hey!)

SL: Deal with the truth! The name I would give Muk is... Toxic --! Seriously, Muk's odor could knock someone out, but the people backstage tried to wash him to get rid some of the stink, but I feel like puking right now. Ok, go away Muk.

(Muk goes away)

SL: Next, if I were to change a name of the region, I would pick Hoenn, because it has a word in it. I would call Hoenn, Hoe-enn. If you don't get it, find out yourself. (Looks at watch) That is all the time I have for today. See ya!

_Credits:_

_Brought to you by Lilycove Television and created by Shiny Lucario Amazing Productions, or S.L.A.P., or Slap._

* * *

(After the show)

SL: That was f--cking awesome! Review if you liked it, if you didn't and you are going to flame, don't. If you want to give good suggestions, put them in a review, and I might use it, if it is about Pokemon, and there could be a joke made from it.


	2. Chapter 2

********

Mind Of Mencia: Pokemon Style!

Episode 2

* * *

(Before the show)

SL: Episode 2! Thank you for the people that reviewed! Now lets get thew show on the road, and I am the one driving the show on the road!

* * *

SL: Hello, Pokemon Trainers, Pokemon, and other people that are not in Pokemon. To get things started, people have been telling you Pokemon Tales, like Fairy Tales, but I am here to tell you the real thing so you don't end up choking your friend with the crap other people tell you. First, is Buneary and the 3 Ursarings.

(Buneary is sitting at a table) (Whatever the Pokemons say is translated with their Pokemon retarded language)

Buneary: I came to visit 3 Ursarings for supper, we ate, I took a nap, and we lived happily ever after.

SL: That Buneary is a lying whore! Yeah. In the real story, the Buneary broke into the Ursarings' home. And that is a Felony, and in the Hoenn Region, you would be laying an egg right now.

(Audience laughs and applause)

SL: Yeah. So, Buneary, what are you eating?

Buneary: Honey, and it is so sweet!

SL: You are so f--king stupid!

(Audience laugh and applause again)

SL: For Pokemon Trainers and Pokemon, you can't just go into anyones' home or nest or whatever. You can't go in and take and eat what you want. And when you see an Ursaring, especially 3 together. You better get the f--k out! And when Buneary saw the Ursarings come in and she saw them smiling at her, they were thinking, "Oh, great, fourth meal from Honey Bell."

(An Ursaring appears on the stage)

Usaring: Buneary, my favorite!

Buneary: Ahhh!!

(Buneary hops away and Usaring chases Buneary)

(Audience applause)

SL: The next story is the Ditto Prince.

Eevee: Once I kiss this ugly Ditto, it will break the spell, and he will become a handsome Pikachu.

SL: In your dreams, bitch! In the real story, Eevee never kisses the Ditto. Eevee is so pissed that she has to kiss him, Eevee tackles Ditto to the wall, and starts beating the s--t out of him. Yeah, kind of like when my I tried stealing a dollar from my mom's purse. After Eevee beats the crap out of him, Ditto turns into a Pikachu.

Eevee: Awesome! (Eevee starts attacking Ditto with 4 random attacks)

(30 seconds pass)

SL: That bitch has gone crazy!

Eevee: So, where is my prince?

(Ditto turns into a Pikachu)

SL: Its better when you tell the true story instead of some fake crud.

(Eevee drags Pikachu by the tail and runs off the stage)

SL: Many lessons to be learned from these stories. Now onto something else. The Pokemon World was created by Palkia and Diagla, as seen and heard, but what if it changed a little, as I would like to call this segment... That's F--king Pokemon History. Watch the clip.

* * *

(The video clip starts)

Diagla: I bored in this place, its got nothing, besides gas.

Palkia: I made those gases.

Diagla: How?

Palkia: I don't know.

Diagla: Wait, I know what we can do with this gas!

Palkia: Make it into gas?

Diagla: It is already gas, dumb ass.

Palkia: Really?

Diagla: Damn, you got high on the gas.

Palkia: Who the hell are you?

Diagla: Focus!

Palkia: Focus Blast?

Diagla: No! Just listen, you high-on-gas-mother-f--ker! Lets use a fire-type move to create something out of these gases.

Palkia: That I got high on.

Diagla: Ok, on three lets attack.

Palkia: Ok, Mr. Teddiursa.

Diagla: Ok... One, two, thre-

(Palkia farts)

Diagla: Did you just fart?

Palkia: Yes, and it felt good!

Diagla: Lets try it again. One, two, thre-

(Palkia burps)

Diagla: What is wrong with you!?

Palkia: Your mom.

Diagla: Don't make fun of my mom!

Palkia: I just did.

(Diagla uses Roar Of Time on Palkia)

Diagla: Now focus, you piece of s--t! One, two, three!

(Diagla and Palkia use Flamethrower on the gases)

(There is a huge explosion from the gases)

(Seconds later all is clear and calm)

Diagla: Damn, what happened?

Palkia: I asked for a pretzel.

Diagla: I am starting to think that you aren't high, and that you are actually stupid.

Palkia: Now I want a bagel.

(Diagla notices the surroundings)

Diagla: Woah! We created the universe!

Palkia: Cool, but now I want some pizza.

* * *

SL: Wow. Palkia was a stupid and high Pokemon that created this world... Now I know why some characters are morons. Palkia created them. Diagla created the wise people and Pokemon. And that ends... That's F--king Pokemon History.

(Audience applause)

SL: Moving on. I want to bring some of the characters of Pokemon. Only the human characters. If your name is called, please come to the stage. Ash, Misty, Brock, May, Max, Drew, Dawn, Paul... Hmm... Yeah, that's all.

(Ash, Misty, Brock, May, Max, Drew, Dawn, and Paul come to the stage)

SL: Yeah, 8 characters. And I want to tell them the truth about themselves and some things that I just want to point out and make fun of. I'll start with Ash.

Ash: Hello Sinn-hoe!

SL: We are in Hoenn, Ash. In Lilycove City.

Ash: Oh.

SL: First thing, he is stupid. Second, how old is he?! I still don't know! Third, who does he like, Misty, May, or Dawn.

Ash: Neither of those three.

SL: Oh, we will see in Episode Three, and yes, I did just rhyme words. Fourth, who is your father?!

Ash: I don't know!! Stop asking me questions!

SL: If you say so. Now for the rant on you. Your hair must be as dirty as a toilet, since you never comb it. If you were older than 16 right now, why don't you have facial hair? I don't think there is such a thing called puberty in Pokemon.

Ash: What is puberty?

SL: Ask your mom.

Ash: Okay.

SL: Next is Misty. When your long hair is scrunched up at the top, at first I didn't think you had long hair. And when you started going on a journey with Ash, you were wearing very small clothes, and in front of Ash. That is f--ked up. And I feel bad that I don't have a lot to say about Misty.

Misty: Thank Mew!

SL: Next is Brock. My most favorite question of all... Do you have eyes?! In anime shows, some characters don't show their eyes, but at times, their eye shows in some way because of emotion, but that has never happened to Brock. I must check for myself. (Pokes Brock in the area where the eye is) I can't tell! You freak me out Brock, next person!

May: Which is me!

SL: (Sweatdrops) I still remember that fair. Horrible. Damn horrible. (Shows May his hand) Look at my hand!

May: And?

SL: When you were sitting next to me on the ride, you grabbed my hand and I heard it crack. And its purple as a Poison Jab! Anyways, are you really related to Max?

May: Yes.

SL: Are you sure?

May: Yes, I am sure.

SL: Okay... Do you do drugs?

May: No!

SL: Then how the hell did you squish my hand!?

May: Don't you know that I have traveled across Hoenn and Jhoto.

SL: Yes.

May: Then what the heck do you think I have been doing there?

SL: Stalking Drew, winning ribbons, thinking about Ash and that is why you are coming to Sinnoh, and hopefully you don't come across Harley.

May: Damn, how the hell do you know that.

SL: Because I am the host of this show, and I know what the you are thinking.

May: Okay, what am I thinking of now? (Thinks)

SL: Okay. (Reads May thoughts) Damn. Uh... One, no. Two, no. Three, no. Four, I don't know. Five, Yes. Six, no.

May: (Faints in astonishment)

SL: Don't mess with me, or you fall in front of thee. Yes, I did rhyme again got the hell of it. Next person is Max.

Max: (Off screen) Camera Man! Down here!

Camera Man: Who said that?!

Max: Point the camera down.

(Camera Man points the camera at Max)

Camera Man: Oh, there you are.

Max: Anyways, you made my sister faint!!

SL: And your point is?

Max: That you made my sister faint.

SL: Hey, she decided to mess with me. Oh, and there is things you don't know about your sister.

Max: Like what?

SL: If this was Rated M, I would tell you all, and I would not censor words. Anyways, How old are you?

Max: I don't know.

SL: I looks like you are eight or something. But you seem way to short for your age, since May was ten when she started her journey, and she is 2 times bigger than you.

Max: I think I am adopted.

SL: I am thinking of that too. You seem smarter than everyone in your family. Next person, Drew.

Drew: With my amazing green hair.

SL: (Pulls out a flamethrower) Shut up. Or you'll turn bald.

Drew: Don't kill my kill green hair!

SL: Then don't talk about your green hair. Now with the questions and things. Is your hair natural or did you dye it?

Drew: Natural.

SL: Yeah. Natural born freak with green hair. And I have a question that you have to answer honestly. Not a snobby answer. Here is the question... Why do the fan girls like you?

Drew: To be honest... I have no idea.

SL: Fan girls, a Pokemon Contest is not American Idol! Stop liking whoever is hot, whoever is cute, who dresses better! It is not a f--king popularity contest!! Next person, is Dawn.

Dawn: Hi Mom!

SL: (Sweatdrops) Yeah, people always have to say, "Hi Mom and Dad!", when you are on T.V. Anyways, I got some crap to ask you and rant about on you. Why the hell are you wearing a very short skirt that reaches to the half point of your thigh!?

Dawn: Because I look cute it in.

SL: For a ten year old, I don't know. Maybe a longer skirt would do better. Next question. Do you think you will be a better coordinator than your mom?

Dawn: Hell yeah!

SL: Do you think having blue hair is weird?

Dawn: I don't know.

SL: Well, green hair is weird for Drew, but blue hair isn't wierd for you. I guess Drew should have a different color of hair. Or, no hair. Next person is, Paul.

Paul: What do you want?

SL: Nothing. Just try to answer some of these questions.

Paul: Fine.

SL: Are you emo?

Paul: Why the f--k do I always get that question?!

SL: You are look depressed, you feel better off alone, you only have hatred as an emotion, and you don't have any friends.

Paul: Damn it. Oh, but do I have any cuts.

SL: Lets find out. (Grabs Paul's arm and pulls his sleeve up and pulls his arm up to show everyone) Ah ha! Cut marks!

Paul: Mother f--ker!

SL: Hey, you chose to do it on your own will. And that is all from you people.

May: (Wakes up) What? What happened?

SL: You fainted, now you all go away, it is time for me to rap up the show.

Ash: In a box?

SL: No! I mean to end the show, until next time.

Ash: Oh.

SL: Dumb ass. Now that is all for now. And next time, we will have Misty, May, and Dawn competing for something, or should I say someone. By everyone!

_Credits:_

_This show is brought to you by Lilycove Television, and created by Shiny Lucario Amazing Productions, or S.L.A.P., or Slap.

* * *

_(After the show)

SL: More fun, and more fun to come. Until next time, I am Shiny Lucario, and I proved that Paul is emo!


End file.
